i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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