he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You pole danced in your parka.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
