I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
