would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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