Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
