I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
