did you get engaged???
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
