Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
