Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
