yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I faked an abortion last night.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
