it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
