Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize