Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
