don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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