yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
