Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
