My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
