we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
