Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
