i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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