i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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