i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
