Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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