What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
