Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
