it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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