he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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