Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
