so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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