i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
