epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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