I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
