It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
