You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
