Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
