I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
