Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
