I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize