We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
