margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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