I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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