Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
