I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
