I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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