Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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