i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
