Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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