I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize