So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
