i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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