chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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