I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
