I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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