Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize