I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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