pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize