Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
