just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
