If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
