I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
