They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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