Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That accounts for only three of the penises
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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