i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
