so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize