It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Pooping to opera.
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