so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
