Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
